And don’t even think about apologizing.
So in the last week, I’ve taken shit from my boss, finished a review, started working on a video to add to the site—trying to assemble fans. Got rejected by a chick, found out I can’t make it to the wedding I’ve been planning on going to for months (because my boss is a twit and “can’t change her vacation time” set for a month from now). AND to top it all off, my car shit on me with no possible recovery.
How is your week?
Working on a short story for analog science fiction and fact. Submitting because A.) I need the cash and B.) because publicity would be fantastic…honestly what have I been doing with my time besides working on the novel anyways?
O let me, true in love, but truly write,
And then believe me, my love is as fair
As any mother’s child, thought not so bright
As those gold candles fix’d in heaven’s air
Let them say more that like of hearsay well;
I will not praise that purpose not to sell.
-William Shakespeare
Yet another letter, by this time I would think you would get sick of them. However, I can hardly stop writing them once I start, my fingers do the walking down the pathways of my own heart, trying to find those words that can’t quite pass my lips when I am talking to you; it is like a continuation of the conversation. We talk, we laugh, we sigh in those fleeting inescapable moments we grab on to happiness and pull it down to fit our given scenario—but there isn’t anyone I would rather do that with than you.
What bothers me though, is your question earlier:
Why?
Trust me, I have tussled with this for hours, so much so that it has disrupted my well deserved sleep. However, I have realize that while the fates have conspired, and twisted up our destinies together—however volatile our situation may be—I am sure there is a reason why our paths have crossed. I look into your eyes and realize that with ever moment we spend together, this love we have can transcend all things it is something unique that none can take from us. You are in my veins, sending chills down my spin, and your kiss is the greatest weapon against my feeble heart. My heart sings out a sonnet to capture for a moment longer the memory of our fingers intertwined, reminiscing over the sparse seconds spent staring into each others eyes. Hold fast though, soon we will be together forever I assure you, then we will be free to live as we choose.
You leave me speechless, wanting, lost in a sea of my own thoughts fretting in a hurricane of emotion. By whatever hand you were made, it was definitely recognized that you were the masterpiece, thus the mold was cast down shattered so that no one could ever attempt to remake you. So here I stand, mesmerized by the words woven by your voice, the intricate tapestry of my heart song laid bare, exposed yet so very comfortable as you pluck my heart strings. From the way you laugh, to the sound of my name you had me at “Hello.”
I am nothing more than a player, in your theater, a puppet to the tenderness you offer up. It is in your smile, your touch, the soft whispers that threaten to devour my ears and your radiant glow is the beacon that keeps me on course. I fear though my words are not enough, as that thought slaps me back to reality I am left with a quickening heart fleeting bouts of anxiety shake me. The emotion makes me feel uncertain, and your greatness makes me feel unworthy alas it is in this unworthy state that I can truly say I am in love. In this state one can be free from ridicule and to speak as freely as a mortal tongue can allow. Still, no words can compare to the raging tempest that irrupts in my chest, leaving me to lay dazed.
Lost in the comparisons that fail to match up, in those sweet words that mean nothing once I kiss your lips. When I see you the world is a lackluster shade of gray, you are the only thing that matters. Ah, by what fools luck have I been cursed with this contrite urge that I should have found you sooner, sooner than yesterday, or the day before. The days don’t seem to be long enough anymore, and those times where we are rushed away leaving us craving more are the highest levels of torture I have experienced. If absence is supposed to intensify love, then why does it have to be so painful?
For once I don’t have the words that rightly express this singular moment of completion. Whatever troubles there are I will try to understand, adapt, abide, and not react. I am not upset in the slightest, I am just elated; my heart has grabbed the wings that it’s so rightly longed for and I am happy. Through this happiness I want to make you happy, I want to help you, guide you, talk to you – I want you to be happy. By god I will do whatever it takes to get that done, whether it is fighting giants or taking on trolls I will cross the length of the earth to snatch that happiness by the neck and drag it back to you.
You are the sun, and I am naught but the sky that holds, transfers and filters your radiance through momentary doses to the rest of the world. But they still don’t understand, you are like a rainbow, vibrant colorful and meaningful, yet subtle in the ways that the attention needed to appreciate is so great that it is overlooked.
I will say it a thousand times, no matter what I am here for you, and even more I will care for you with every fiber of my being. Come storm, hail, or hells fire I will not betray what trust I have gained, and I will not for a second harm the china doll that I have come to cherish so much. Even in light of the news I had received I am pleased to say that I will be there no matter what.
No words can describe you, so I shall not, and will not event attempt at it, though there are particular words that come to mind:
Amazing, fantastic, true, honest, loving, caring, warm-hearted, good spirited, uplifting, resolute, defiant, stubborn, hot-headed, complicated, simple, and perfect.
Even still, those words fail to ascertain the level of…pure, unadulterated pizazz that lights my soul on fire. You, are you, and by my personal definition there is no one that could compare or even come close. So take my hand, and I will be the wind in your kite, I will be the uplifting warm current in your wings, I will be the wind, the breath, the words, the sweet taste in the morning, the sunshine – I will be it all to bring a smile to your face.
Sincerely Yours,
Romeo
Awe inspiring, this feeling of pure unrelenting surety
Fragments of perfection linger in the fleeting moments
She makes me quiver, she shakes my soul
She makes my heart thump
My hands shake
Palms sweat
She is the fire that sets my soul ablaze.
Juliet….the name of my personal angel, its hard to believe that our meeting was by pure chance; even now I can still feel my heart in my throat. My palms are still sweating, and I think my voice cracked when I said “Hello.” From the moment we locked eyes I knew I loved you, as we became closer I was only reassured, and I live and die by your kiss. Even now I fawn, dote wondering when I will get to see you next, counting the stars until I am holding you again.
Was thinking of her, and I had to post it.
It’s kind of frustrating, you know, that feeling as if you are making your way through water. The world spins in slow motion around you; determined to engulf you in it’s all encompassing torrent of fate and the inevitable. An ineffable feeling of overwhelming pressure that threatens to crush you. Something akin to the fates conspiring against you, and every step forward is six steps back. But then, on the horizon there is a break in the darkness, a sweet relief from the pain and hopelessness. Be it a woman, a child, cherished memory or some ridiculous notion—this, whatever it is, is important. While it may not define you, it definitely makes up some part of you, and holding onto that is top priority.
